It Only Hurts When I Cry

Let’s just get this out of the way - Bourbon Blues nearly kicked my butt. Every year, one book throws me off my game. In 2014, Damaged and the Dragon enjoyed the honor. Last year was In the Wind. I don’t know what happens to me during this time of the year, but I struggle mightily with stories that should prove simple.

After stopping a dozen times, trashing over 20,000 words that weren’t working, and putting out an erotica short, I have finally published Bourbon Blues. With that book behind me, I’ve immediately jumped into writing Black Sheep and Whiskey Blues. So far, I’ve made decent work of the first one and plan to have it out in June.

I’m relieved I bailed on a few signings I had scheduled for this summer. There’s no way I’d manage my yearly release plans if I traveled right now. I do miss packing up and hitting the road with Roo. Staying in hotels and eating out is fun, but it’ll have to wait until August and October.

With healthy sales for Bourbon Blues, I’ve enjoyed two solid releases in a row (skipping the under the radar erotica short). I don’t know if it’s simply the time of the year or pure luck, but I’ve recently been discovered by new readers. In 2015, I spent a lot more money on promotions and made less. While I do need to get around to promoting the old books, the new ones have found traction on their own. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s a pleasant surprise after three years writing as Bijou.

Recently, I’ve tried to post more regularly on my Bijou page by scheduling something for each day. I am not someone who appreciates having the same things spammed nearly daily from authors, so I avoid doing it myself. I see some authors posting about their “new releases” six months after the books are released. It’s obnoxious, but they must get a positive response from someone or else they’d stop. Even if it’s a strong marketing tool, I can’t do it. I have trouble pimping myself. If I ever got better at networking, I’d probably sell more books. I don’t like kissing ass and tend to flock to people I enjoy rather than those who might help my career. Sounds honorable, but it simply means I’m too stubborn to learn new skills.

Besides scheduling my weekly posts and doing a daily login to respond to messages, wish people happy birthday, and share a few things, I try to stay off FB. There’s so much drama, and it’s only getting worse. Publishers are failing. Formerly successful authors are struggling. The election season is riling up everyone. I wish I could say I’m above all the drama, but it’s damn addictive. That’s why I stay away from FB. If I’m logged in, I’m drawn to it.

Speaking of drama, STGRB seems to be down for the long haul. Though I haven’t posted on the BBA Whisperer blog in over two years, I kept it up to refute the lies on STGRB. With the snot-green site on hiatus, I’ve followed suit with the Whisperer blog. When I started publishing, BBAs and STGRB were ruining everyone’s fun. Now things have shifted, and authors are savvier about reviews and appropriate business behavior. For those writers who occasionally freak out, no doubt someone will care about their antics, but it won’t be me.

There just isn't time for drama in this market. So many new authors publish every day. They want a piece of the pie, and they deserve a chance to be read. If I hope to compete with them, I can’t spend the day posting about what candidate said what or who wronged who or jumping on whatever outrage topic is currently popular. Gossip and drama won’t sell my books or pay my bills. There was a time when successful authors could publish a book a year. I know there are a few indies with such big followings that they can still write and publish like the old days. Their one release is huge and keeps performing long after it’s released. The average author doesn’t enjoy this luxury.

As tough as the market is currently, so many authors are making so much money. These (mostly) women have built businesses out of nothing more than an idea. Whenever anyone complains about Amazon, returns, or market trends, I think about how many new authors have blossomed from dreamers into entrepreneurs in the last few years.

On that positive note, I better get back to writing to ensure June proves to be a productive month for me.

Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn Me Loose

April is somehow over. The month blew by, and I nearly didn’t get a release completed in time. Rather than publish a Bijou book, I finished writing my first erotic romance and published it under a new pen name. I really enjoyed writing something with no expectations. I got to be as dirty as I wanted, which honestly was pretty vanilla compared to what else’s out there. Still I enjoyed going wild (for me). The story has done reasonably well with really no promo, reaching 3000 on Amazon today. I have a few other erotic stories in mind for the pen name.

Publishing diversity is a solid way to keep my writing from becoming stale. I will eventually write Christian romances using my Dakota pen name. I plan a few horror-themed romances too, and my beta reader asked if I might write paranormal romances. I have a lot of ideas, but now I need to get moving.

Bourbon Blues is almost finished FINALLY. What a difference a few days make. April was another one of those emotional months with family issues distracting me. I wasn’t certain I could even finish the book in May. Now I’m aiming for a May 20^th release date. Fingers crossed that the rest of the week is as productive as today.

In my last post, I wrote about ways to deal with depression. My main tool is choosing to fight the negativity. Depression is treatable like most illnesses. Positive thinking is all it takes, but thinking positive can be difficult if you don’t choose that path. Some people embrace their unhappiness until their depression defines them.

The other night, I felt overwhelmed by a million little things. All of the negativity built up in my mind and I couldn’t find relief. So what did I do? I made the choice to be happy by finding something to pull me from my dark funk. In this case, I played Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 with Roo. I'm still horrible at the game but improving at “free for all.” An hour of playing with Roo left me laughing easily. While the funk lingered in the background, I made the choice to fight it.

I have a lot to be thankful for. My middle baby, Pooh, celebrated his 19^th birthday yesterday. He went through so much the last few years, but he’s finally in a good place. All I want for him is health and happiness. Right now, he’s found both, and I pray he remains blessed for a long time. With Mother’s Day nearly here, I can think of no greater gifts than my boys’ frequent smiles.

So May is here, and deadlines are looming. I’m confident I can put out another Bijou book and get myself back on track. After Bourbon Blues, I’m ready to jump into Black Sheep. I also have another erotic romance story in mind, and I’m planning to finally give Lost Highway a try.

Here’s hoping your first week of May is as fortunate as mine.