There’s no denying I’ve been in a funk the last few weeks. March always drags me into a bad place, yet knowing something is coming doesn’t make it easier to deal. This month, I dealt with grief over Tigger. I gained friends and lost others. I felt both thrilled and overwhelmed by the unexpected success of Junkyard Dog.
I have a few tools I use to deal with my funks (or depression if we’re getting technical).
Music is an obvious one. When moody, I crave Mazzy Starr and Christina Perri. Of course, those are terrible choices when I’m in a down mood. I might as well turn on The Smiths like when I was a teenager and cry in the closet.
So I listen to the Fratellis and the Mavericks. Fun music that’ll force me to tap my feet and sing along.
Particular shows are good to watch when I'm in a down mood. For me, Parks and Rec, American Dad, Happy Endings, and Arrested Development help.
The biggest tool is my journal. I can rage, whine and/or babble without judgment. Sometimes, I just want to get something out of my system without any feedback. A journal is a great way to express myself without causing harm too. If I’m annoyed with my family or friends, I tell my journal rather than get cranky with the people upsetting me. Finally, I use my journal to problem-solve.
So I used all these tools in March. When I still couldn’t write, I gave myself a vacation. I focused on other work-related tasks but no writing.
Ranked at one point at 155, Junkyard Dog turned out to be my biggest success. I had respected authors telling me they loved the book, and new readers discovered my Bijou books because of JD. The strong sales and pages read came simply from word of mouth. It’s impossible to know what book will catch on and what books will get the cold shoulder from readers.
As much as I loved the positive feedback, I felt overwhelmed. Would the new readers try my other books and feel disappointed? Would my future books seem lame in comparison to Junkyard Dog? I have a rule about avoiding reader feedback when I’m writing. Otherwise, I focus too much on the end product rather than letting the characters tell their stories. With the attention from JD, I struggled with not thinking of readers’ reactions to my next books. This worry gunked up my creative mojo. After many a journal pep talk, I’m regaining my focus.
March is nearly over. Here’s hoping April is all happy-happy, joy-joy, rainbows and kittens.
I’m hardcore obsessed with the song La Vie En Rose, so I’ve included three versions in this blog post.
My eighteenth Bijou book is now live and Junkyard Dog is one of my favorites. The character of Angus Hayes came to me while driving home from the Sassy in Savannah signing last October. We were somewhere in Tennessee when Tigger flipped through channels and stopped on the song "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce. Of course, everyone knows the lyrics:
And he's bad, bad Leroy Brown
The baddest man in the whole damn town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog
From that song, Hayes was born. I introduced his character in High Voltage, wondering how readers would react to the rude SOB. The reaction was positive, so I jumped straight into the story even while working on Sunday Morning. The reaction to Junkyard Dog has been strong so far. It actually reached the highest ranking for one of my 2.99 books.
With JD published, I feel a little lost creatively. I’ve started several projects including Lost Highway, Black Sheep, an untitled erotic short, and just yesterday Bourbon Blues. None are calling to me just yet, but I suspect the last one might be the easiest since it’s connected to Junkyard Dog.
Even though I want to put out a book a month, I don’t want to stress this momentary writer’s bump (block would be too strong a word). March is always an emotional month for my family. Freckles went to Heaven in March 1993. Pooh’s health spiraled in March 2014. Sally suffered health issues during several years in March. Not every March brings sadness. Tigger was conceived in March. We put down a deposit on our Indiana home and lot in March 2004.
Good or bad, March remains an emotional month so I won’t stress a slow start to my new project.
I must admit a sense of pride at publishing a book a month for five months. One of my problems has always been self-sabotage when it comes to productivity. I get too focused on small details or distracted by unimportant problems until I fall behind. I don’t expect this to happen in 2016. I’ve decided to back out of another signing to allow for more time for writing and family time.
In other news, I learned a BBA from years ago remains focused on my every move. She recently wrote a blog, nearly begging me to out her BookLikes sock account. I don’t know why she’d want me to ruin what she’s built for the last few years. She’s tight with many of her former enemies and seems to enjoy their friendships. Lately, she rarely pimps her secret pen names and spends a lot of time reading and reviewing books by other authors. So why would she want me to out her?
Boredom is the likely answer. She might miss the drama of the old days. No one mentions her or cares what she does anymore. Right now she craves negative attention, but I suspect she’ll eventually be thankful I don’t out her. Drama is overrated and no one would truly care once they learned who was behind the sock account. Oh, one or two might pretend to be horrified and play the victim card. It wouldn’t last long, so why waste everyone’s time when things are comfortable now.
So she’ll need to find drama elsewhere. Maybe she can focus on politics. Every time I log onto Facebook, people are outraged about one thing or another. In the past, I was interested in politics, but this election season is too mean-spirited. Besides, the people I wanted to vote for dropped out early.
I also see a lot of online anger about the tight ebook market. Back in the day, authors became successful by simply hitting publish. Now they can do everything right, yet never sell more than a handful of copies.
So authors look for culprits, but competition isn’t something that can be fixed. We all want to write and be heard. Not all of us will earn enough to pay our bills with our writing. Some authors, who were very successful a year ago, are now struggling. On the other hand, new authors succeed every day. There’s no rhyme or reason, so there’s no point in obsessing over it.
All an author can do is to write for themselves. If they’re making money with books they love to write, that’s great. If they can’t sell the books they love, at least they enjoyed writing them. Chasing the market works occasionally, so there's no harm in authors trying something out of their comfort zone. I didn’t think I’d be good at contemporary romance. My heart belonged to fantasy and horror. Now I’d have trouble returning to paranormal.
One day, I will need to write fantasy again so I can finish my Angela series and get a sense of closure with those characters. With the tight market, I need to focus on Bijou books for the time being. One day, Gigi, Vivi, and Blue will get their endings though.
With the time change, my Sunday is nearly over so I better get organized for the new week. Roo will soon be on Easter break, and the weather has warmed up so yard work waits. Busy, busy.
As much as I loved the positive feedback, I felt overwhelmed. Would the new readers try my other books and feel disappointed? Would my future books seem lame in comparison to Junkyard Dog? I have a rule about avoiding reader feedback when I’m writing. Otherwise, I focus too much on the end product rather than letting the characters tell their stories. With the attention from JD, I struggled with not thinking of readers’ reactions to my next books. This worry gunked up my creative mojo. After many a journal pep talk, I’m regaining my focus.
