Island in the Sun

I haven’t written in months, but what better time than Thanksgiving weekend to post an update. Since my last blog in July, I published a few books—Rich S.O.B. and Rusty Cage as Bijou, Black & Blue as my new Ily Jacks m/m pen name, and a dark romance under a third pen name.

I’ve enjoyed writing outside my comfort zone with the kidnapping theme and then the gay romance. I’m planning to start 2018 with my second Ily book plus I’m working on a romance series with Aimie Grey. It’s the first time I’ve ever co-written with anyone, and I’m nervous.

Next month’s release will mark my 44th since 2012, and I have a system when it comes to writing. Sometimes, that system explodes into a dumpster fire, and I have to edit like a mad woman to salvage the plot. Still I know how to fix my crap and adding a second person to the mix terrifies me.

So Aimie and I plan to write several short gay romances with a city meets country theme. I’m very curious at how things turn out creatively between us.

As for writing more dark romance, I’m not certain how soon I want to jump into that mindset again. I think I might rather dip my toe into paranormal romance. I have an alien concept for a PNR series that could be fun.

Unfortunately, I didn’t attend any signings this year. I had to cancel Arch, Glass City, and Rebels & Readers. While bummed to miss out on the signings, I did have more time to write and hit a few deadlines.

Shyla and I continue to meet monthly to talk shop. She’s also varied up her releases this year to prevent her writing from becoming stale. As many authors reach their fifth year in indie publishing, we’re looking for ways to keep our writing fresh.

A great blessing this year was how Jack and I grew much closer. In 2017, he gave Call of Duty a try. Now we play free for all every night. Whenever I’m tense, shooting bots makes my problems temporarily go away.

Jack has also been open to watching a lot of more obscure and/or classic horror movies. We binged directors like David Cronenberg (Shivers, The Brood, Rabid) and John Carpenter (Prince of Darkness, They Live, In the Mouth of Madness). He even endured a silly, childhood favorite of mine—The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

Luca doesn’t like horror movies and he’s more into PC games than Xbox. Though he’s fully in his sarcastic, moody teenage phase, I still manage to get him to mellow out when we have our weekly mom/son outings. At fourteen, he still has many more sullen years ahead of him.

There’s no denying Max had a tough year. All winter, he struggled to recover from his health disaster last Nov. Just as he settled down during spring, there was a major upheaval with the staff working at his house. Max didn’t handle it well but (thankfully) it didn't go as badly as we feared. Fortunately by autumn, he turned a corner and began eating three meals at day and taking walks again. This is the first Thanksgiving in four years that I haven't been stressed out about Max.

2017 sure had its ups and downs. People were stressed about politics and authors worried about a flooded market. Social media was full of drama and complaining, so I stayed off it as much as I could. Often times, I thinned my friend list on FB and followers on Twitter to avoid the festering anger common this year. As such, I kept calm and remained focused.

I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving. My fingers are crossed that I remember to post before the end of the year with a few New Year’s resolutions.

She Hates Me

Happy July 4th to my fellow Americans. I’m spending the holiday writing and making a huge batch of chicken casserole. Oh, and playing Call of Duty with the boys.

Since my last post, I published Right Amount of Wrong and finished up writing Rich S.O.B. for my Bijou pen name. The latter proved tricky because the hero was very different than my normal alpha guys. I took awhile to get his voice just right, but I’m hoping readers enjoy him. Even if they don’t connect with Asher, I had a blast writing him.

Now that Rich S.O.B. is in the feedback stage, I'm plotting new projects. During my author lunches with Shyla, we talk about how to keep from getting burned out on writing (which remains the best job ever!) and variety seems to be the key. 

So I'm working on four main projects, which makes me sound super productive. I’m not, though. I don’t know how many of the four will ever be published. One will for sure since it’s my next Bijou book.

The other three are for new pen names. I’m working on my first dark romance. I guess Gator could be considered dark, but Jake was an anti-hero. The “hero” of the new book is a villain and the story feels more like a thriller than a romance. I’m unsure if I’ll finish it since I can’t even read abduction romances without ending up depressed.

On the other hand, Miranda once suggested my writing felt emotionally muted because I’d gotten used to repressing my feelings during the tough times with Max. It makes sense that I’d lean toward happier, comedic romances for a while, but I think it’s time to safely unleash some of my darker feelings by writing ugly stories. I've even been listening to old rock songs to inspire my inner-bitch to come out in the book.

It’ll be interesting to see if I finish the book. Assuming I do, I have a pen name set up for the dark stuff since my Bijou readers would not appreciate one-clicking something so different than my usual books.

That’s why I redid Lost Highway under a new pen name I'm using for my paranormal books. Along with redoing my old Angela books (eventually), I’m plotting a paranormal romance series with aliens. I have the basic plot organized but paranormal books need a lot of world building especially if I’m setting up a series. It’s still very early in the process, so I’m unsure if I’ll publish the PNR this year.

Finally, I’m writing a few short clean romances since I sometimes don’t want to write sex scenes. They’re Bijou-esque without the sex and cussing. Since many Bijou readers expect boot-knocking in my books, I’ll likely publish under a pen name.

It seems like a lot of work to create new pen names (and it is) but I have a plan to hopefully cut down on the workload of managing so many. Besides, some could end up being like Jorja or Dakota where I rarely use them. So I don’t see a future where I’m rocking more than one pen name at a signing like a couple of chicks I know.

This year, I still have two events scheduled. I had to pull out of a third because it conflicted with RL. I might end up pulling out of the other two too (waiting to see what happens with family health issues), but fingers crossed that I can attend them.

I’ve wanted to attend the Rebels & Readers signing for a few years, but I never got the invite. Hangs head low for being unworthy. I got lucky this year and will head to W.V. in Nov if family issues allow. Next year, the organizers are planning for a smaller venue and fewer authors, meaning I likely won’t get the nod. I mean, I know I’m awesome (wink, wink), but organizers need to bring in the most popular authors to draw the most readers.

For the next month, I’ll stay close to home (and where it’s air conditioned). Then Luca will start school and I’ll plan for signings and finally the holidays will take up much of my time.

For July, though, I can chill and enjoy my many blessings. I hope everyone is able to do the same!

Demon Kitty Rag

Yeah, March was the usual stressful all-over-the-place type of month. It wasn’t all bad, though.

1)  Max’s health continues to improve.

2) I published Tequila Blues early and most readers seemed to think it was the best of the Serrated Brotherhood MC series.

3)  Started writing Rich S.O.B. and Right Amount of Wrong.

4)  Got my yard work done before the bugs revolted.

5) Signed up for what should be a fun MC/Mafia-themed event in 2018 that Shyla will also attend.

6) Umm… I made a lot of lists… ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶

In March, Jack started playing Call of Duty with Luca and me. He’s gotten the hang of it quickly, meaning I’ll soon lose to both boys.

Plus, we tried out a better variety of movies along with binge-watching several TV shows. Stranger Things was really interesting since so much of the show pays homage to movies I grew up with. I suspect Jack missed much of the show’s flavor, but he enjoyed the horror and action.

We’re now alternating between watching Twin Peaks (which I’ve seen before) and Breaking Bad (which I haven't).

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to watch more S. Korean movies. My favorite two lately are Train to Busan (a zombie flick) and I Saw the Devil (a revenge thriller).

The first made me cry which has never happened during a zombie movie before. S. Korean filmmakers aren’t afraid to write likable characters. In US horror circles, the trend seems to be to make everyone so hateful the audience will enjoy watching them die. Eli Roth is big on this tactic, but I have no interest in spending 90 minutes with “heroes” I loath.

I Saw the Devil stuck with me for days. It’s difficult to explain why the movie transcends the hundreds of other revenge flicks. If I had to guess, it’s that S. Korean filmmakers are willing to embrace emotion (even to the point of feeling schmaltzy to a US audience) while American filmmakers are more bare bones. Perhaps, S. Korean audiences aren’t as cynical as their western counterparts. Whatever the reason, I am enjoying this resolution.

Besides TV and movies, I’ve gotten hooked watching a few YouTube series like Best of the Worst by Red Letter Media and Boots to ReBoots by Stitched Together Pics.

In work news, I’m currently writing two standalone romances. One involves brand new characters and the other follows the son of a couple from the Damaged series. The latter will work on its own, which is how I’d like to write books for the some of the kids of past characters. My goal is to stay away from a long series where every kid finds their HEA.

This "one and done" plan will allow me to give long time readers a little treat while also allowing the story to stand alone.

Well that’s an update on what I’ve been doing the last few months. I hope your spring is full of blooms and blessings..ஐ.ஐ.ஐ

Love Is Alright Tonite

Oh, how many big plans I had for 2017. So far, though, I’m rehashing the best and worst of 2016.

On Wed, I published Whiskey Blues, which is the sequel to a book I published back in June. Talk about not keeping these babies rolling. I really hoped to dip into the barrel of standalone books I have waiting in my head, but I still need to write one more book related to a series. Then I’ll finally grab the fresh start I hoped for this year.

Even my hair is back to its golden age. I’d gone darker and shorter at the end of 2016. I considered sticking with my natural color and embracing the gray I’ve had since I was nineteen. Except my gray decided to grow on only half my head while leaving the other side dark brown.

As fun as the Cruella de Vil look is, I felt it might put our dog on edge. So I’m back to blonde as my hair grows out to the long pixie I had in early autumn. 

In a momentary step back, I stumbled upon another author using bigoted comments. Like with Parker and the MC author, this one is peachy keen with using terms meant to mock the disabled. You know, as long as the terms are directed at non-disabled people who ACT like disabled people. Yeah, their logic remains mind-boggling.

I admit I let her comment upset me. Initially anyway. After all, I was casually scrolling through my FB feed, liking comments and pictures plus sharing book posts. Then, BAM! Who’d think a grown woman with children and a successful writing career would be so unable to grasp the power of words.

Even when one of her readers mentioned how the term she used was an attack on the disabled, she only laughed it off (much like Parker did). Rather than using the excuse of saying the term was in the dictionary, she refused to believe it even meant what every definition online says it means. She redefined the term, and everyone needed to follow her lead.

I remembered the techniques I used last year to prepare for the Dallas signing. Rather than staying upset, I stopped following her and put her on a list of authors not to use for Hump Day Giveaways.

Otherwise, I refused to stress it. She likes the term and won’t stop using it. My job is to ignore what I find offensive rather than expect the world to censor itself. So after a momentary step back into tender ass territory, I got my shit together and controlled my mood to prevent the assholes from upsetting me.

So even the “bad” stuff this year wasn’t totally bad. I’m enjoying Tequila Blues. I dig my blonde pixie. And I have one less author filling up my FB feed, which allows me to see the other friends and pages I follow. Viewing the world as a glass half full prevents depression from slowing me down!

I hope everyone’s glasses are spilling over with blessings. Until next time, Happy Valentine’s Day!

It Doesn't Have to Be That Way

Let’s jump right into my New Year’s resolutions for 2017!

1) Get diverse! Though I’m proud of my nine releases in 2016, I need to increase the variety. I plan on fewer upcoming series, leaving my schedule open for a wider range of writing.

2) Don’t forget the lesser pen names! Dakota’s books don’t pay the bills, but the series needs to be finished. I also want to redo the old Angela books and republish them one day. To do that, I need to remember Bijou isn’t the only voice in my head desperate to be heard.

3) Get in better shape! I’m too old to pretend I’ll run a marathon or lose a ton of weight or whatever grand dream I might have latched onto when I was younger. Yet I’d like to get healthier and the only exercise I enjoy is walking. So I bought a treadmill for New Year’s! My favorite activities involve watching TV or reading while a fan blows on me. Yep, I’ve found the perfect exercise which means I don’t really have any excuses this year.

4) Stop letting assholes annoy me! People are different. Some of them choose to be assholes or perhaps they’re assholes on accident. Either way, they’ll never change their loser ways. So I can either get riled up about them pissing me off or I can ignore their antics and choose to be happy. It’s up to me to be smarter about how I use my time.

5) Watch more Korean cinema! Last year, I watched more foreign flicks and discovered the thriving Korean market. Their horror movies and thrillers haven’t disappointed, and I’d like to remember to add at least one new film a month to my movie nights with Jack.

I consider my resolutions reasonable, meaning I might actually accomplish them all. I hope everyone else achieves their goals in 2017 too!

My Name Is

Since this is the last post of 2016, I’ll make it quick since I feel like the ones lately have been rather repetitive.

Yippee for 2016!

1) Junkyard Dog was my the best selling book of my career without a promo or .99 intro price. 

2) I finished the year with my first “Best Seller Tag” for reaching #1 in a category (two actually).

 3) My income increased by 20 thousand over last year.

4) I finally focused on expanding my mailing list, leading to over 2000 more signups.

5) I met Carina in N. Carolina and plan to visit her in the Chicago area next year. She inspired me to write even when I was in a funk.

6) My kids were healthy overall and Pooh settled into his group home.

7) I remained tight with Aimie and Shyla who proved to be good friends and immensely helpful with author problems.

8) I faced my hatred of the R-word, encountered people I’d rather have avoided, and toughened against hardships.

9) I was able to get Sally’s books signed by one of her favorite authors, Cecy Robson.

10) I published 9 times, which is three more than in 2015 and two more than my average.

Boos of 2016!

1) My writing magic pooped out during the second half of the year, and I only published three times.

2) I didn’t publish a Dakota book.

3) I totally spaced on setting up promos for most of the year.

4) I lost a good friend.

5) I let people upset me even though I don't care about them or their opinions, meaning I really should have known better.

6) Pooh took a huge step back at the end of the year, reverting to many of his dangerous behaviors such as SIB and refusing solid foods. Hospitalized twice since Thanksgiving, he is only now leveling out.

7) Roo hit the terrible teens, throwing more than a few tantrums on the trip to Dallas.

8) My laptop Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock went kaput on me after only two years. She’s been replaced by Lilou, but I’ll miss my ’17 inch beauty.

9) My hormones made me lazier than a lump, and I’m super out of shape… even for me.

10) I got bad about emailing people and keeping in touch.

Well that’s 2016 in a list-based nutshell. I’ll probably babble a few New Year’s resolutions soon.

Until then, Happy New Year!

Tea with Cinnamon

Though November and Thanksgiving are already a memory, I wanted to write a final thankful post. This one about my family.

This year was very transitional for us. Much like in 2015, we adjusted to living separately from Pooh. For most of last year, we remained in a waiting pattern while Pooh lived at a residential facility while his group home was prepped.

After his move just before Christmas, we settled into our new reality. I was fortunate enough to receive counseling in 2015 to help me adjust to Pooh living somewhere else. An amazing therapist named Kim helped me come to terms with his aggressive behaviors and the change in his appearance after so much self-harm.

This year, I continued using the skills Kim taught me such as writing in my journal. I also encouraged Roo to keep a notebook to chart his moods and thoughts.

Pooh will likely never be the way he was before getting sick. Everyone changes during puberty, but his transformation was clearly more drastic and dire.

With his days more structured, Pooh has bonded well with his staff. As a mother, I'll always feel strange about my child turning to someone else for comfort and care. Though I'll always see him as my little guy, our lives will never truly align again.

In 2016, I've accepted what can't be changed and embraced the blessings in our lives. Even as a positive person, I struggled to find light during the last few dark years. Now as my family heals, I can only admire how fortunate I truly am.

Hurt

In this week's November thankful post, I want to write about facing my fears and desensitizing myself.

These days, safe places and trigger warning are all the rage in mental health. Back in my day of Donahue and Oprah, we were taught to face what upsets or traumatizes us. By facing the fear, we took away its power.

Now I’ve never been a milquetoast unable to confront a jerk or deal with an insult thrown my direction. Yet I’ve been extremely sensitive about a slur hurled at my two sons with autism.

The first time I heard someone call Tigger the R-word was when a speech therapist “diagnosed” him with autism. She said the word so effortlessly and did it right in front of him too. That was in the mid-90’s when autism wasn’t often discussed and the R-word was still bantered around nonchalantly.

From idiot teachers to nasty bullies, the word followed my boys through life. By 2013, I assumed society was clued into how the R-word was as vile a slur as the N-word or F-word. No doubt I was naive.

During my BBA blogging days, I ran into a number of toxic people. Their behavior was simply eye roll inducing until they began using the R-word. 

When BBA like Parker, Middleton, Haldeman, and others casually threw around the R-word, I was shocked they found the slur acceptable. After all, I couldn’t imagine any of them using the N-word or F-word with such zeal. However, they saw no issue with calling people the R-word.

How could they be okay with using a slur? Was this how they were raised? I know many older people still throw around the R-word. While none of the women seemed old enough to be from that generation, perhaps they learned to use the slur from their family. Or maybe they were so sheltered in life that they didn’t see how painful the word might be to someone disabled.

That was a lonely time for me. Several of my “friends” soon decided to defend their friends who’d also used the R-word. Basically, our side couldn’t admit to having a few bad apples. Thus, our allies’ bad behavior must be excused away while, of course, the BBA’s identical behavior was to be loathed. When I chose not to excuse the allies’ behavior, I was labeled a bitch for not being cool with the R-word when the “right” people used it. The R-word is in the dictionary after all!

How could I argue against such thinking? The answer is I couldn’t.

So what does that have to do this year? Well, I was set to attend a signing in Dallas with an author I’d seen using the R-word on a mutual friend’s FB feed. Big deal, right? I attended a signing with Parker who used the R-word on her blog, FB, and GR without an ounce of guilt. If I could share a signing with her, what was the big deal about this chick?

Well, as I wrote earlier in the year, the author in Dallas writes in the same sub-genre as I do. We were bound to meet and I couldn’t ignore her like I did Parker. I had to engage professionally with this author, yet I despised her for using that word (among other vile things she enjoys sharing with the world).

I knew no matter what I said to anyone who used the R-word, they wouldn’t change their behavior. Shaming them doesn’t work. Guilting them doesn’t work. Reasoning with them certainly doesn’t work.

Since people like them will never stop using the R-word, I decided I was the one who needed to change.

Desensitizing my heart to the word meant reading screenshots of the BBA repeatedly using it. Once I’d done that enough, I searched for other people using the word. I found plenty of examples on Twitter and Facebook. The fact is people throw that word around constantly.

Facing their ugliness on a regular basis, I hardened against the deep resentment I felt when I heard the R-word or some variant. By the Dallas signing, I didn’t avoid the writer. I looked her in the eye and made friendly chit chat without giving away my lack of respect for her. She went about her life still happy to use the R-word and I went about mine with a tougher heart.

Sometimes the world isn’t fair or kind. Changing someone else is a futile goal, but we have the power to strengthen ourselves to the cruelties around us. I haven’t stopped hating the R-word, but I’ve accepted how many people enjoy the word and always will. Giving them the power to upset me was a mistake. Toughening up is a better path and one I embraced this year.

Silent All These Years

My first November thankful post (assuming I remember to do more this month) is about my writing career.

Last month, I attended the Carolina Book Fest in Charlotte. The signing was divine! The hotel was great. The venue was huge and so well air-conditioned. One of my “fangirls” decided to fly into Charlotte from the Chicago area to be my assistant.

If I was busy with another reader or author, Carina set up sales at my table. If I ran out of swag, she helped restock the table. Carina kept me focused and in a great mood. She even brought battery-operated fans because I once said I sweat like crazy at signings. The chick was dynamite, and what a great personality! After the signing, we ate at one of the hotel restaurants where I talked her ear off. I can’t wait until we hook up again in the future.

I was also able to talk with another fangirl named Melinda. She’d come to see me in 2015. This time, she brought her sister who was as cool as her. I wish we could have hung out a bit more. The next time I travel to Charlotte, I plan to arrive earlier, so I can take Melinda to dinner.

The signing once again showed me how blessed I am. Melinda and Carina have supported me since the beginning of my Bijou writing career. They’ve read all of my books from the darker ones like Gator to the funnier ones like Junkyard Dog. They followed me through my journey as a writer as I honed my skills and voice.

In addition, there was the moment at the signing when I was speaking to a traditionally published author my mother loves. She signed Sally’s paperbacks and was so sweet. I was surprised when she explained how close she got to giving up on writing. She stressed for me to never give up.

She's right, of course. No matter how anxious I get about deadlines or burned out from writing so fast, I remind myself how I have my dream job. Writing is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid, and now it’s a reality.

In 2016, I enjoyed my best sales while writing books I once worried wouldn’t be appreciated. Back in 2014, I wondered if I could write anything other than the Damaged series. I'd tried a few darker books like Gator and Used. I’d written a short “happy” romance for a box set.

However, I’d never fully embraced my sarcastic Lala side in one of my Bijou books. With Junkyard Dog, I let loose and unleashed my inner snark. The book added a new layer to my Bijou brand and allowed me to push my writing beyond what I’d done before.

As with many things this year, the Carolina Book Fest gave me a jolt of enthusiasm and confidence for my career.

Hopefully, I’ll be back next week with another post about why I’m thankful in 2016. If not, just assume writing Train Wreck has made me flakier than usual.

Who Do You Love?

My baby is no longer a baby! Today, Roo is officially a big bad teenager, though he’s been moody and pit-stanktacular for a while.

I have more happy news…

Baby don’t hate, I've published number eight!

After four years of publishing, I’ve FINALLY managed more than seven releases! And 2016 isn’t even over yet!

Admittedly, I fell behind with my "release a month" plan after The Deliciously Dirty in Dallas signing in August threw off my writing mojo. It took over a week after our return to get back my groove.

The signing was a lot of fun. I especially enjoyed having Aimie Grey as my table mate. While I managed to forget my banner at home, Aimie’s sexy new one got us plenty of eyeballs.

When my hotel reservation got jacked up, the woman at the Weston was awesome. She allowed us an upgraded room at the original discounted price plus offered free buffet breakfasts during our stay.

The hotel is RIGHT NEXT to the airport. Noisy, for sure, but very cool to see the airplanes closeup. In the mornings, we sat near the rooftop pool and watched the massive planes landing. I felt like a kid up there.

In personal growth news, I engaged with the R-word loving turd during the signing. She was as awful as I expected, but I never batted an eye. The last few months of prep work got me ready to deal with her nasty attitude. I’ve learned to accept how some people are raised to think using a cruel word is acceptable. There’s no changing them. I can only control my response.

Though Tigger and Roo enjoyed the Dallas trip, the latter decided to remain home during the upcoming Charlotte signing. Sally will no doubt enjoy the company.

Having begun writing the final Rawkfist MC book last week, I’ve completed about a third so far. Considering how road trips slow me down, I’d love to be halfway through by the time I leave for Charlotte. Ideally, I'll publish Train Wreck this month. Then I'll finish out the year with Evolution and Whiskey Blues. Eleven releases in a year would be well beyond anything I dreamed. Fingers crossed that it’ll all come together.

Until next time, Happy Autumn!

You're No Good

Another month, another book release! I wrote something a little different this time around. As a throwback to my old Angela paranormal stories, Lost Highway was a fun change. Now I’m focused on writing the sequels to my two series Serrated Brotherhood MC and Rawkfist MC.

I can’t believe July is nearly over. The last few months have flown by, but I enjoyed the summer break. Roo isn’t thrilled to get back to school tomorrow. Even homeschoolers gotta whine about doing a little work.

August should prove to be busy. We’re driving to Dallas at the end of the month for my first signing of the year. I’m really looking forward to this one because a lot of my fave people are attending. Aimie Grey will have her new book and banner ready for the event. I’m also looking forward to meeting Sapphire Knight, who’s always been very sweet to me online. Yes, I’ll also be in the same room as the author with an affinity for rude pronouncements such as the R-word. I’ve prepared to shrug off her negativity if we do meet.

Roo and Tigger will join me on the road trip. We’re even renting an SUV to haul all of our crap. I've missed traveling to these signings. Eating out, staying at hotels, seeing new things. The last time I drove to Texas was in 2014, and I came up with two story ideas. Now the Little Memphis MC series and Lost Highway are released, and I’m heading back to the Lone Star state. Fingers crossed that I come up with new ideas on the trip.

The rest of 2016 is pretty set release-wise. I need to finish up the two MC series and a book for the Angelic Redemption series. However, 2017 remains up in the air. I have several standalone ideas I'll probably focus on early in the year. One of the MC series I’ve been playing with since 2014 likely won’t make the cut. I might consider writing more paranormal romances. I’m rather excited and nervous to go into a year with no specific plans in mind. Of course, it’s only the summer. By December, I might have my entire 2017 planned out.

Until then, I have plenty of work to check off my to-do list. I better hit publish on this post before August arrives!

It's Good to Be Alive

High five for book six in 2016! I’ve now published the same number of books in half the time as I did last year. I’d say my new attempt at productivity has paid off so far. Jumping immediately from finishing one book to beginning another has also help prevent the post-publishing funk I used to get.

Black Sheep was a challenge because the three sisters were all snarky but needed their own voices. I also wanted to create a small town vibe. I don’t know how well I succeeded, but I enjoyed writing the book.

I’ve already begun the second book in the Serrated Brotherhood MC series. Whiskey Blues is a darker book than I’ve written in a while. Though it’ll have the same humor, this is the first book where the hero has cheated on the heroine. I really don’t like infidelity in my romances, but the plot point fit and I wanted to stretch outside my comfort zone.

My main writing project right now is Lost Highway. It’s become a paranormal romance, and I’m having fun writing something different. I don’t think the book’s tone fits the Bijou brand. No doubt I’ll write PNR one day as Bijou, and I have a few old “Angela” ideas with the humor and character setups that’ll work for my current brand. Lost Highway will likely use a pen name, though.

Summertime is always quiet at our house. I’ve been taking it especially easy after I suffered a herniated disc in my back. Man, oh, man, did that hurt, yet I managed to work through the pain. I was also lucky enough to find a reasonably priced massager that sped up my recovery.

As for the family, Roo is currently in love with his Xbox, and I got him a rental subscription with Gamefly so he can try different video games. The last few weeks, Tigger and I have been on a horror movie kick. At the end of June, Pooh enjoyed playing in the sprinklers with his housemates. Finally, Sally has rekindled her interest in Nora Roberts’s books and Mahjong.

Next month, school starts up, and I have the Deliciously Dirty in Dallas signing. So while things are quiet right now, I need to get organized for the upcoming trips. Unfortunately, I’m currently enthralled with Jigsaw and can’t seem to do anything except solve puzzles. Every time I finish a chapter, I reward myself with a little time with Jigsaw.

Speaking of my game, I think I best get back to it. I’m working for enough “gold” to download a new puzzle set. All about the priorities!

It Only Hurts When I Cry

Let’s just get this out of the way - Bourbon Blues nearly kicked my butt. Every year, one book throws me off my game. In 2014, Damaged and the Dragon enjoyed the honor. Last year was In the Wind. I don’t know what happens to me during this time of the year, but I struggle mightily with stories that should prove simple.

After stopping a dozen times, trashing over 20,000 words that weren’t working, and putting out an erotica short, I have finally published Bourbon Blues. With that book behind me, I’ve immediately jumped into writing Black Sheep and Whiskey Blues. So far, I’ve made decent work of the first one and plan to have it out in June.

I’m relieved I bailed on a few signings I had scheduled for this summer. There’s no way I’d manage my yearly release plans if I traveled right now. I do miss packing up and hitting the road with Roo. Staying in hotels and eating out is fun, but it’ll have to wait until August and October.

With healthy sales for Bourbon Blues, I’ve enjoyed two solid releases in a row (skipping the under the radar erotica short). I don’t know if it’s simply the time of the year or pure luck, but I’ve recently been discovered by new readers. In 2015, I spent a lot more money on promotions and made less. While I do need to get around to promoting the old books, the new ones have found traction on their own. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’s a pleasant surprise after three years writing as Bijou.

Recently, I’ve tried to post more regularly on my Bijou page by scheduling something for each day. I am not someone who appreciates having the same things spammed nearly daily from authors, so I avoid doing it myself. I see some authors posting about their “new releases” six months after the books are released. It’s obnoxious, but they must get a positive response from someone or else they’d stop. Even if it’s a strong marketing tool, I can’t do it. I have trouble pimping myself. If I ever got better at networking, I’d probably sell more books. I don’t like kissing ass and tend to flock to people I enjoy rather than those who might help my career. Sounds honorable, but it simply means I’m too stubborn to learn new skills.

Besides scheduling my weekly posts and doing a daily login to respond to messages, wish people happy birthday, and share a few things, I try to stay off FB. There’s so much drama, and it’s only getting worse. Publishers are failing. Formerly successful authors are struggling. The election season is riling up everyone. I wish I could say I’m above all the drama, but it’s damn addictive. That’s why I stay away from FB. If I’m logged in, I’m drawn to it.

Speaking of drama, STGRB seems to be down for the long haul. Though I haven’t posted on the BBA Whisperer blog in over two years, I kept it up to refute the lies on STGRB. With the snot-green site on hiatus, I’ve followed suit with the Whisperer blog. When I started publishing, BBAs and STGRB were ruining everyone’s fun. Now things have shifted, and authors are savvier about reviews and appropriate business behavior. For those writers who occasionally freak out, no doubt someone will care about their antics, but it won’t be me.

There just isn't time for drama in this market. So many new authors publish every day. They want a piece of the pie, and they deserve a chance to be read. If I hope to compete with them, I can’t spend the day posting about what candidate said what or who wronged who or jumping on whatever outrage topic is currently popular. Gossip and drama won’t sell my books or pay my bills. There was a time when successful authors could publish a book a year. I know there are a few indies with such big followings that they can still write and publish like the old days. Their one release is huge and keeps performing long after it’s released. The average author doesn’t enjoy this luxury.

As tough as the market is currently, so many authors are making so much money. These (mostly) women have built businesses out of nothing more than an idea. Whenever anyone complains about Amazon, returns, or market trends, I think about how many new authors have blossomed from dreamers into entrepreneurs in the last few years.

On that positive note, I better get back to writing to ensure June proves to be a productive month for me.

Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn Me Loose

April is somehow over. The month blew by, and I nearly didn’t get a release completed in time. Rather than publish a Bijou book, I finished writing my first erotic romance and published it under a new pen name. I really enjoyed writing something with no expectations. I got to be as dirty as I wanted, which honestly was pretty vanilla compared to what else’s out there. Still I enjoyed going wild (for me). The story has done reasonably well with really no promo, reaching 3000 on Amazon today. I have a few other erotic stories in mind for the pen name.

Publishing diversity is a solid way to keep my writing from becoming stale. I will eventually write Christian romances using my Dakota pen name. I plan a few horror-themed romances too, and my beta reader asked if I might write paranormal romances. I have a lot of ideas, but now I need to get moving.

Bourbon Blues is almost finished FINALLY. What a difference a few days make. April was another one of those emotional months with family issues distracting me. I wasn’t certain I could even finish the book in May. Now I’m aiming for a May 20^th release date. Fingers crossed that the rest of the week is as productive as today.

In my last post, I wrote about ways to deal with depression. My main tool is choosing to fight the negativity. Depression is treatable like most illnesses. Positive thinking is all it takes, but thinking positive can be difficult if you don’t choose that path. Some people embrace their unhappiness until their depression defines them.

The other night, I felt overwhelmed by a million little things. All of the negativity built up in my mind and I couldn’t find relief. So what did I do? I made the choice to be happy by finding something to pull me from my dark funk. In this case, I played Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 with Roo. I'm still horrible at the game but improving at “free for all.” An hour of playing with Roo left me laughing easily. While the funk lingered in the background, I made the choice to fight it.

I have a lot to be thankful for. My middle baby, Pooh, celebrated his 19^th birthday yesterday. He went through so much the last few years, but he’s finally in a good place. All I want for him is health and happiness. Right now, he’s found both, and I pray he remains blessed for a long time. With Mother’s Day nearly here, I can think of no greater gifts than my boys’ frequent smiles.

So May is here, and deadlines are looming. I’m confident I can put out another Bijou book and get myself back on track. After Bourbon Blues, I’m ready to jump into Black Sheep. I also have another erotic romance story in mind, and I’m planning to finally give Lost Highway a try.

Here’s hoping your first week of May is as fortunate as mine.

Dance the Night Away

There’s no denying I’ve been in a funk the last few weeks. March always drags me into a bad place, yet knowing something is coming doesn’t make it easier to deal. This month, I dealt with grief over Tigger. I gained friends and lost others. I felt both thrilled and overwhelmed by the unexpected success of Junkyard Dog.

I have a few tools I use to deal with my funks (or depression if we’re getting technical).

Music is an obvious one. When moody, I crave Mazzy Starr and Christina Perri. Of course, those are terrible choices when I’m in a down mood. I might as well turn on The Smiths like when I was a teenager and cry in the closet.

So I listen to the Fratellis and the Mavericks. Fun music that’ll force me to tap my feet and sing along.

Particular shows are good to watch when I'm in a down mood. For me, Parks and Rec, American Dad, Happy Endings, and Arrested Development help.

The biggest tool is my journal. I can rage, whine and/or babble without judgment. Sometimes, I just want to get something out of my system without any feedback. A journal is a great way to express myself without causing harm too. If I’m annoyed with my family or friends, I tell my journal rather than get cranky with the people upsetting me. Finally, I use my journal to problem-solve.

So I used all these tools in March. When I still couldn’t write, I gave myself a vacation. I focused on other work-related tasks but no writing.

Ranked at one point at 155, Junkyard Dog turned out to be my biggest success. I had respected authors telling me they loved the book, and new readers discovered my Bijou books because of JD. The strong sales and pages read came simply from word of mouth. It’s impossible to know what book will catch on and what books will get the cold shoulder from readers.

As much as I loved the positive feedback, I felt overwhelmed. Would the new readers try my other books and feel disappointed? Would my future books seem lame in comparison to Junkyard Dog? I have a rule about avoiding reader feedback when I’m writing. Otherwise, I focus too much on the end product rather than letting the characters tell their stories. With the attention from JD, I struggled with not thinking of readers’ reactions to my next books. This worry gunked up my creative mojo. After many a journal pep talk, I’m regaining my focus.

March is nearly over. Here’s hoping April is all happy-happy, joy-joy, rainbows and kittens.

La Vie En Rose

I’m hardcore obsessed with the song La Vie En Rose, so I’ve included three versions in this blog post.

My eighteenth Bijou book is now live and Junkyard Dog is one of my favorites. The character of Angus Hayes came to me while driving home from the Sassy in Savannah signing last October. We were somewhere in Tennessee when Tigger flipped through channels and stopped on the song "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce. Of course, everyone knows the lyrics:

And he's bad, bad Leroy Brown

The baddest man in the whole damn town

Badder than old King Kong

And meaner than a junkyard dog

From that song, Hayes was born. I introduced his character in High Voltage, wondering how readers would react to the rude SOB. The reaction was positive, so I jumped straight into the story even while working on Sunday Morning. The reaction to Junkyard Dog has been strong so far. It actually reached the highest ranking for one of my 2.99 books.

With JD published, I feel a little lost creatively. I’ve started several projects including Lost Highway, Black Sheep, an untitled erotic short, and just yesterday Bourbon Blues. None are calling to me just yet, but I suspect the last one might be the easiest since it’s connected to Junkyard Dog.

Even though I want to put out a book a month, I don’t want to stress this momentary writer’s bump (block would be too strong a word). March is always an emotional month for my family. Freckles went to Heaven in March 1993. Pooh’s health spiraled in March 2014. Sally suffered health issues during several years in March. Not every March brings sadness. Tigger was conceived in March. We put down a deposit on our Indiana home and lot in March 2004.

Good or bad, March remains an emotional month so I won’t stress a slow start to my new project.

I must admit a sense of pride at publishing a book a month for five months. One of my problems has always been self-sabotage when it comes to productivity. I get too focused on small details or distracted by unimportant problems until I fall behind. I don’t expect this to happen in 2016. I’ve decided to back out of another signing to allow for more time for writing and family time.

In other news, I learned a BBA from years ago remains focused on my every move. She recently wrote a blog, nearly begging me to out her BookLikes sock account. I don’t know why she’d want me to ruin what she’s built for the last few years. She’s tight with many of her former enemies and seems to enjoy their friendships. Lately, she rarely pimps her secret pen names and spends a lot of time reading and reviewing books by other authors. So why would she want me to out her?

Boredom is the likely answer. She might miss the drama of the old days. No one mentions her or cares what she does anymore. Right now she craves negative attention, but I suspect she’ll eventually be thankful I don’t out her. Drama is overrated and no one would truly care once they learned who was behind the sock account. Oh, one or two might pretend to be horrified and play the victim card. It wouldn’t last long, so why waste everyone’s time when things are comfortable now.

So she’ll need to find drama elsewhere. Maybe she can focus on politics. Every time I log onto Facebook, people are outraged about one thing or another. In the past, I was interested in politics, but this election season is too mean-spirited. Besides, the people I wanted to vote for dropped out early.

I also see a lot of online anger about the tight ebook market. Back in the day, authors became successful by simply hitting publish. Now they can do everything right, yet never sell more than a handful of copies.

So authors look for culprits, but competition isn’t something that can be fixed. We all want to write and be heard. Not all of us will earn enough to pay our bills with our writing. Some authors, who were very successful a year ago, are now struggling. On the other hand, new authors succeed every day. There’s no rhyme or reason, so there’s no point in obsessing over it.

All an author can do is to write for themselves. If they’re making money with books they love to write, that’s great. If they can’t sell the books they love, at least they enjoyed writing them. Chasing the market works occasionally, so there's no harm in authors trying something out of their comfort zone. I didn’t think I’d be good at contemporary romance. My heart belonged to fantasy and horror. Now I’d have trouble returning to paranormal.

One day, I will need to write fantasy again so I can finish my Angela series and get a sense of closure with those characters. With the tight market, I need to focus on Bijou books for the time being. One day, Gigi, Vivi, and Blue will get their endings though.

With the time change, my Sunday is nearly over so I better get organized for the new week. Roo will soon be on Easter break, and the weather has warmed up so yard work waits. Busy, busy.