My Name Is

Since this is the last post of 2016, I’ll make it quick since I feel like the ones lately have been rather repetitive.

Yippee for 2016!

1) Junkyard Dog was my the best selling book of my career without a promo or .99 intro price. 

2) I finished the year with my first “Best Seller Tag” for reaching #1 in a category (two actually).

 3) My income increased by 20 thousand over last year.

4) I finally focused on expanding my mailing list, leading to over 2000 more signups.

5) I met Carina in N. Carolina and plan to visit her in the Chicago area next year. She inspired me to write even when I was in a funk.

6) My kids were healthy overall and Pooh settled into his group home.

7) I remained tight with Aimie and Shyla who proved to be good friends and immensely helpful with author problems.

8) I faced my hatred of the R-word, encountered people I’d rather have avoided, and toughened against hardships.

9) I was able to get Sally’s books signed by one of her favorite authors, Cecy Robson.

10) I published 9 times, which is three more than in 2015 and two more than my average.

Boos of 2016!

1) My writing magic pooped out during the second half of the year, and I only published three times.

2) I didn’t publish a Dakota book.

3) I totally spaced on setting up promos for most of the year.

4) I lost a good friend.

5) I let people upset me even though I don't care about them or their opinions, meaning I really should have known better.

6) Pooh took a huge step back at the end of the year, reverting to many of his dangerous behaviors such as SIB and refusing solid foods. Hospitalized twice since Thanksgiving, he is only now leveling out.

7) Roo hit the terrible teens, throwing more than a few tantrums on the trip to Dallas.

8) My laptop Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock went kaput on me after only two years. She’s been replaced by Lilou, but I’ll miss my ’17 inch beauty.

9) My hormones made me lazier than a lump, and I’m super out of shape… even for me.

10) I got bad about emailing people and keeping in touch.

Well that’s 2016 in a list-based nutshell. I’ll probably babble a few New Year’s resolutions soon.

Until then, Happy New Year!

Tea with Cinnamon

Though November and Thanksgiving are already a memory, I wanted to write a final thankful post. This one about my family.

This year was very transitional for us. Much like in 2015, we adjusted to living separately from Pooh. For most of last year, we remained in a waiting pattern while Pooh lived at a residential facility while his group home was prepped.

After his move just before Christmas, we settled into our new reality. I was fortunate enough to receive counseling in 2015 to help me adjust to Pooh living somewhere else. An amazing therapist named Kim helped me come to terms with his aggressive behaviors and the change in his appearance after so much self-harm.

This year, I continued using the skills Kim taught me such as writing in my journal. I also encouraged Roo to keep a notebook to chart his moods and thoughts.

Pooh will likely never be the way he was before getting sick. Everyone changes during puberty, but his transformation was clearly more drastic and dire.

With his days more structured, Pooh has bonded well with his staff. As a mother, I'll always feel strange about my child turning to someone else for comfort and care. Though I'll always see him as my little guy, our lives will never truly align again.

In 2016, I've accepted what can't be changed and embraced the blessings in our lives. Even as a positive person, I struggled to find light during the last few dark years. Now as my family heals, I can only admire how fortunate I truly am.

Hurt

In this week's November thankful post, I want to write about facing my fears and desensitizing myself.

These days, safe places and trigger warning are all the rage in mental health. Back in my day of Donahue and Oprah, we were taught to face what upsets or traumatizes us. By facing the fear, we took away its power.

Now I’ve never been a milquetoast unable to confront a jerk or deal with an insult thrown my direction. Yet I’ve been extremely sensitive about a slur hurled at my two sons with autism.

The first time I heard someone call Tigger the R-word was when a speech therapist “diagnosed” him with autism. She said the word so effortlessly and did it right in front of him too. That was in the mid-90’s when autism wasn’t often discussed and the R-word was still bantered around nonchalantly.

From idiot teachers to nasty bullies, the word followed my boys through life. By 2013, I assumed society was clued into how the R-word was as vile a slur as the N-word or F-word. No doubt I was naive.

During my BBA blogging days, I ran into a number of toxic people. Their behavior was simply eye roll inducing until they began using the R-word. 

When BBA like Parker, Middleton, Haldeman, and others casually threw around the R-word, I was shocked they found the slur acceptable. After all, I couldn’t imagine any of them using the N-word or F-word with such zeal. However, they saw no issue with calling people the R-word.

How could they be okay with using a slur? Was this how they were raised? I know many older people still throw around the R-word. While none of the women seemed old enough to be from that generation, perhaps they learned to use the slur from their family. Or maybe they were so sheltered in life that they didn’t see how painful the word might be to someone disabled.

That was a lonely time for me. Several of my “friends” soon decided to defend their friends who’d also used the R-word. Basically, our side couldn’t admit to having a few bad apples. Thus, our allies’ bad behavior must be excused away while, of course, the BBA’s identical behavior was to be loathed. When I chose not to excuse the allies’ behavior, I was labeled a bitch for not being cool with the R-word when the “right” people used it. The R-word is in the dictionary after all!

How could I argue against such thinking? The answer is I couldn’t.

So what does that have to do this year? Well, I was set to attend a signing in Dallas with an author I’d seen using the R-word on a mutual friend’s FB feed. Big deal, right? I attended a signing with Parker who used the R-word on her blog, FB, and GR without an ounce of guilt. If I could share a signing with her, what was the big deal about this chick?

Well, as I wrote earlier in the year, the author in Dallas writes in the same sub-genre as I do. We were bound to meet and I couldn’t ignore her like I did Parker. I had to engage professionally with this author, yet I despised her for using that word (among other vile things she enjoys sharing with the world).

I knew no matter what I said to anyone who used the R-word, they wouldn’t change their behavior. Shaming them doesn’t work. Guilting them doesn’t work. Reasoning with them certainly doesn’t work.

Since people like them will never stop using the R-word, I decided I was the one who needed to change.

Desensitizing my heart to the word meant reading screenshots of the BBA repeatedly using it. Once I’d done that enough, I searched for other people using the word. I found plenty of examples on Twitter and Facebook. The fact is people throw that word around constantly.

Facing their ugliness on a regular basis, I hardened against the deep resentment I felt when I heard the R-word or some variant. By the Dallas signing, I didn’t avoid the writer. I looked her in the eye and made friendly chit chat without giving away my lack of respect for her. She went about her life still happy to use the R-word and I went about mine with a tougher heart.

Sometimes the world isn’t fair or kind. Changing someone else is a futile goal, but we have the power to strengthen ourselves to the cruelties around us. I haven’t stopped hating the R-word, but I’ve accepted how many people enjoy the word and always will. Giving them the power to upset me was a mistake. Toughening up is a better path and one I embraced this year.

Silent All These Years

My first November thankful post (assuming I remember to do more this month) is about my writing career.

Last month, I attended the Carolina Book Fest in Charlotte. The signing was divine! The hotel was great. The venue was huge and so well air-conditioned. One of my “fangirls” decided to fly into Charlotte from the Chicago area to be my assistant.

If I was busy with another reader or author, Carina set up sales at my table. If I ran out of swag, she helped restock the table. Carina kept me focused and in a great mood. She even brought battery-operated fans because I once said I sweat like crazy at signings. The chick was dynamite, and what a great personality! After the signing, we ate at one of the hotel restaurants where I talked her ear off. I can’t wait until we hook up again in the future.

I was also able to talk with another fangirl named Melinda. She’d come to see me in 2015. This time, she brought her sister who was as cool as her. I wish we could have hung out a bit more. The next time I travel to Charlotte, I plan to arrive earlier, so I can take Melinda to dinner.

The signing once again showed me how blessed I am. Melinda and Carina have supported me since the beginning of my Bijou writing career. They’ve read all of my books from the darker ones like Gator to the funnier ones like Junkyard Dog. They followed me through my journey as a writer as I honed my skills and voice.

In addition, there was the moment at the signing when I was speaking to a traditionally published author my mother loves. She signed Sally’s paperbacks and was so sweet. I was surprised when she explained how close she got to giving up on writing. She stressed for me to never give up.

She's right, of course. No matter how anxious I get about deadlines or burned out from writing so fast, I remind myself how I have my dream job. Writing is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid, and now it’s a reality.

In 2016, I enjoyed my best sales while writing books I once worried wouldn’t be appreciated. Back in 2014, I wondered if I could write anything other than the Damaged series. I'd tried a few darker books like Gator and Used. I’d written a short “happy” romance for a box set.

However, I’d never fully embraced my sarcastic Lala side in one of my Bijou books. With Junkyard Dog, I let loose and unleashed my inner snark. The book added a new layer to my Bijou brand and allowed me to push my writing beyond what I’d done before.

As with many things this year, the Carolina Book Fest gave me a jolt of enthusiasm and confidence for my career.

Hopefully, I’ll be back next week with another post about why I’m thankful in 2016. If not, just assume writing Train Wreck has made me flakier than usual.

Who Do You Love?

My baby is no longer a baby! Today, Roo is officially a big bad teenager, though he’s been moody and pit-stanktacular for a while.

I have more happy news…

Baby don’t hate, I've published number eight!

After four years of publishing, I’ve FINALLY managed more than seven releases! And 2016 isn’t even over yet!

Admittedly, I fell behind with my "release a month" plan after The Deliciously Dirty in Dallas signing in August threw off my writing mojo. It took over a week after our return to get back my groove.

The signing was a lot of fun. I especially enjoyed having Aimie Grey as my table mate. While I managed to forget my banner at home, Aimie’s sexy new one got us plenty of eyeballs.

When my hotel reservation got jacked up, the woman at the Weston was awesome. She allowed us an upgraded room at the original discounted price plus offered free buffet breakfasts during our stay.

The hotel is RIGHT NEXT to the airport. Noisy, for sure, but very cool to see the airplanes closeup. In the mornings, we sat near the rooftop pool and watched the massive planes landing. I felt like a kid up there.

In personal growth news, I engaged with the R-word loving turd during the signing. She was as awful as I expected, but I never batted an eye. The last few months of prep work got me ready to deal with her nasty attitude. I’ve learned to accept how some people are raised to think using a cruel word is acceptable. There’s no changing them. I can only control my response.

Though Tigger and Roo enjoyed the Dallas trip, the latter decided to remain home during the upcoming Charlotte signing. Sally will no doubt enjoy the company.

Having begun writing the final Rawkfist MC book last week, I’ve completed about a third so far. Considering how road trips slow me down, I’d love to be halfway through by the time I leave for Charlotte. Ideally, I'll publish Train Wreck this month. Then I'll finish out the year with Evolution and Whiskey Blues. Eleven releases in a year would be well beyond anything I dreamed. Fingers crossed that it’ll all come together.

Until next time, Happy Autumn!

You're No Good

Another month, another book release! I wrote something a little different this time around. As a throwback to my old Angela paranormal stories, Lost Highway was a fun change. Now I’m focused on writing the sequels to my two series Serrated Brotherhood MC and Rawkfist MC.

I can’t believe July is nearly over. The last few months have flown by, but I enjoyed the summer break. Roo isn’t thrilled to get back to school tomorrow. Even homeschoolers gotta whine about doing a little work.

August should prove to be busy. We’re driving to Dallas at the end of the month for my first signing of the year. I’m really looking forward to this one because a lot of my fave people are attending. Aimie Grey will have her new book and banner ready for the event. I’m also looking forward to meeting Sapphire Knight, who’s always been very sweet to me online. Yes, I’ll also be in the same room as the author with an affinity for rude pronouncements such as the R-word. I’ve prepared to shrug off her negativity if we do meet.

Roo and Tigger will join me on the road trip. We’re even renting an SUV to haul all of our crap. I've missed traveling to these signings. Eating out, staying at hotels, seeing new things. The last time I drove to Texas was in 2014, and I came up with two story ideas. Now the Little Memphis MC series and Lost Highway are released, and I’m heading back to the Lone Star state. Fingers crossed that I come up with new ideas on the trip.

The rest of 2016 is pretty set release-wise. I need to finish up the two MC series and a book for the Angelic Redemption series. However, 2017 remains up in the air. I have several standalone ideas I'll probably focus on early in the year. One of the MC series I’ve been playing with since 2014 likely won’t make the cut. I might consider writing more paranormal romances. I’m rather excited and nervous to go into a year with no specific plans in mind. Of course, it’s only the summer. By December, I might have my entire 2017 planned out.

Until then, I have plenty of work to check off my to-do list. I better hit publish on this post before August arrives!

It's Good to Be Alive

High five for book six in 2016! I’ve now published the same number of books in half the time as I did last year. I’d say my new attempt at productivity has paid off so far. Jumping immediately from finishing one book to beginning another has also help prevent the post-publishing funk I used to get.

Black Sheep was a challenge because the three sisters were all snarky but needed their own voices. I also wanted to create a small town vibe. I don’t know how well I succeeded, but I enjoyed writing the book.

I’ve already begun the second book in the Serrated Brotherhood MC series. Whiskey Blues is a darker book than I’ve written in a while. Though it’ll have the same humor, this is the first book where the hero has cheated on the heroine. I really don’t like infidelity in my romances, but the plot point fit and I wanted to stretch outside my comfort zone.

My main writing project right now is Lost Highway. It’s become a paranormal romance, and I’m having fun writing something different. I don’t think the book’s tone fits the Bijou brand. No doubt I’ll write PNR one day as Bijou, and I have a few old “Angela” ideas with the humor and character setups that’ll work for my current brand. Lost Highway will likely use a pen name, though.

Summertime is always quiet at our house. I’ve been taking it especially easy after I suffered a herniated disc in my back. Man, oh, man, did that hurt, yet I managed to work through the pain. I was also lucky enough to find a reasonably priced massager that sped up my recovery.

As for the family, Roo is currently in love with his Xbox, and I got him a rental subscription with Gamefly so he can try different video games. The last few weeks, Tigger and I have been on a horror movie kick. At the end of June, Pooh enjoyed playing in the sprinklers with his housemates. Finally, Sally has rekindled her interest in Nora Roberts’s books and Mahjong.

Next month, school starts up, and I have the Deliciously Dirty in Dallas signing. So while things are quiet right now, I need to get organized for the upcoming trips. Unfortunately, I’m currently enthralled with Jigsaw and can’t seem to do anything except solve puzzles. Every time I finish a chapter, I reward myself with a little time with Jigsaw.

Speaking of my game, I think I best get back to it. I’m working for enough “gold” to download a new puzzle set. All about the priorities!